The Reunion

I emerged from the red, brick building wearing little more than absolutely necessary. The 3/4 length coat kept the cool air at bay as I walked down the front steps and turned toward the well-worn path that led around the building to another less visible flight of stairs behind a large flowering shrub. I let my fingernails trail along the wall as I follow the steps down to a black door. The heavy wood of the door gives in slowly as I carefully push through our own carefully prepared wards and enter the darkness. I step down yet another staircase, leading down past the foundation and basement, past the long standing tunnels with their torch lit walls, down into a hallway at the very end. A strange mix of modern structure and natural surroundings, I enter a large cavernous fire lit room with walls covered in burgundy silk. Large steel hooks interjected the line of the silk draperies by occasionally scooping them aside to reveal sordid delights within the small alcoves beyond. Whether it be a niche filled with an assortment of whips, crops and canes, or another with a chair that contained a variety of hooks and tie downs that promised a night of perverse pleasures, there was something exciting to behold beyond each gap in the fabric.

I continued to walk, past each new and exciting scenario that presented itself to me. Above me, the cave ceiling lay naked and bare, the flickering shadows of the torches playing against the stone. I came to a stop in front of one steel hook that had lost its grip on the silk and allowed the drape to slip closed. Smiling in anticipation, I tugged the cloth aside and strode in with the clip-clop of my boots echoing sharply in the silence. The shadows seem even thicker in this particular alcove. I became eager as I watched the light play of fire, shadows, steel, and there just beyond the metal bars, gleaming skin with a sheen of sweat rippling over the muscled frame of the man in the cell. My smile deepens, reaching my eyes as recognition settles in. The young one who had passed me the message of the new donors arrival had no way of knowing whom it was that had landed in my personal dungeon. She was new. Not many had been around long enough to remember this one. He was no donor. Nor was he prey. He was however a challenge, and a welcome one at that. He was my kind of predator.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I let the words purr from my lips like so much warmed honey. His head lifts at the sound of my voice, for he knows it well. The corners of his mouth twitched with humor and something akin to relief.

"When did you get back into town?" I ask as I let the metal key in my fingers play back and forth across my nails with a click, click, clicking sound.

"It is better for you if you do not know that, darling" He replies. He is probably right about that. The last time we parted ways, he was climbing out a window and I was rushing toward a door to stall the quickly approaching detective long enough to give him a head start. Now he was on the other side of my own cell bars, looking thoroughly scrumptious in the matching black boxers and blindfold. It was practically tradition by now for concentual donors to be presented to me in this fashion when they came seeking our kind.

I breathed in the scent that is only him. It was a mixture of natural scents like water, earth and lush vegetation, with an underlying musk that has the power to intoxicate the senses. I allow the belt that held my coat closed to slide open and I shrugged the material off my shoulders. The remaining vinyl and leather of my boots, corset and panties glimmered nicely in the lighting.

"If I let you out, are you going to be a good boy and behave?" My lips curled into a suggestive grin and one eyebrow raises slightly as I wait for an answer.

"You always sound so damned cute when you get that sound in your voice." I could see his shoulders shaking ever so slightly with mirth, the dimple in his cheek showing up as it always did when he turned up the charm. The key turned around one last time in my fingers before penetrating the lock, my hand turning of it's own accord as the blindfold falls to the floor.

With supernatural speed, the door was thrown open and my back hit the wall, cracking beneath my shoulders. Our mouths were locked in a struggle to drink each other in deeply, hands buried in one anothers hair, pulling each other closer still, bare chest crushed against leather clad breasts. I barce my feet against the wall behind me and push off with my Will, my legs carrying out the motions so that it appeared as if we've defied gravity through a feat of strength. We sail across the room, this time landing him against the wall, crushing the shape of his back into the stone beyond the silk that fell in an explosion of rich red color. As the cloth cascaded down his shoulders in a smooth swishing rush, I leaned backward as far as I could with my legs locked around his waist. Gravity pulled him with me and flipped us both over and onto the newly silk covered ground.

His eyes widen at the sudden realization that he is laying on a bed of dark red with me straddling him...excited, horny and unusually hungry. My eyes have already begun glowing emerald green, a wicked grin spreading across my features as my canines elongated to feeding length.

A similar look crossed his face, teeth and all, shortly before he lowers his voice to a whisper of a growl and says, “Come for me my darling, for old time’s sake. Squirm for me one more time.”

Of its own accord, my body reacts as if a day has it passed since the time that I willingly submitted to him in both body and will. My eyelids flutter as my head rolls back in ecstasy, back arched. Muscles gripping and tightening deep in my belly, I rake my nails across the floor, cutting through the piles of fabric and hitting stone just as a long low moan of pleasure rises up and looses itself from my chest. Feeling as if liquid fire is pumping through my veins, a curl of golden mist starts to sweep across the room, a testament to how our powers have grown since last we parted. The very life force that we once sought out together in the shadows, poured through the room now, growing brighter with every arch of my back. Wracked with sheer pleasure, I lose all sense of my surroundings and there is only him. I push the heat and power of my orgasm into him as I give a final shudder of release.

I lean forward, lightly flicking my tongue against his lips, tasting him, marking him. I let my lips softly brush across his cheek and nuzzle my face into his neck as I whisper huskily into his ear.

“I’ve missed you, Love.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Ancient Kemetic History Holds Spiritual Ties To Vampirism

The word Kemetic or Kemet is one that anyone that spends a length of time within the Vampire Community will come across. What does it mean though? Well in the land of Ancient Egypt, the Egyptians themselves did not use the term Egypt in reference to their own land. To them, the land they called home was known as Kemet. Sometimes they also called it Ta-mery, or "beloved land." Kemet translates as "Black Land", in reference to the fertile banks and fields surrounding the Nile (black from the soil). In contrast, "deshret" is the term for the "Red Land" or the desert (a modern term derived from "deshret") that surrounds the fertile "kemet". By using the term Kemet instead of Egypt, we refer to the country by the name its own people called it (Egypt is an English form of the Greek name for this land, Aegyptos).

The land of Kemet was one rich in the history of modern vampires everywhere. In fact the Kemetic Order of Aset Ka, also known as the Asetians are a current day group of vampires that give worship to the Kemetic Goddess Aset, often spoken of as being the mother of vampires. However, there is mention of vampires in even earlier cultures such as that of the Sumerians. The Asetians do however have much knowledge of the early days of our origins and so, to any that may be interested in learning more of their specific philosophies, they need look no further then The Asetian Bible. It is not meant as a bible of religious philosophy so much as it is called a bible in the sense that they view it as an indispensable manual that contains a large portion of their collective knowledge, with the exception of certain "trade secrets" for lack of better words. .

Aset Ka was not the only Kemetic Netjer/Netjert (or God/Goddess) that has a place in vampiric history however. There were many that have held a place in our history either as the source of symbols we currently use, customs we take on as our own, or as one of the many Netjer/Netjert that we feel personally drawn to. Below I will list a few of them, though the list is by no means limited to solely those listed.


Atum Ra/Re - Often referred to as the creator of all, this is the Sun God as known in either it's second (Atum) or third (Ra/Re) phase of eclipse (much as the Scarab Khepri was a representation of the dark new moon). In one of his many forms, Ra has the head of a falcon and the sun-disk of Wadjet (one of the patron goddesses of lower Kemet, also called the green one) resting on his head.

Horus - One of the oldest and most significant Kemetic deities. He also bares the head of a falcon. Horus is known as the son of Isis and Osiris and yet in another tradition of Kemetic philosophy, he is regarded as the son of Hathor or even at times as her husband. After Set killed Osiris, Horus had many battles with Set, not only to avenge his father, but to choose the rightful ruler of Egypt. One scene stated how Horus was on the verge of killing Set; but his mother (and Set's sister), Isis, stopped him. Isis injured Horus, but eventually healed him. Horus was also said to be a war god and a hunter's god. Horus has at times been also referred to as another incarnation of Ra himself.

Hathor - Often regarded as the wife of Thoth, in later references she has been also depicted as the wife of Ra-Horakhty (Ra/Horus) or in earlier references as the mother of Horus. She was the Nejert that represented the personification of feminine love, joy, music, dance, foriegn lands, and motherhood. She was believed to be the one that welcomed all into this life and the next by helping mothers through childbirth and by greeting the dead when they pass into the afterlife. She is also often depicted in animal form as a cow goddess and has had, since the days of ancient Kemet, a cult following that uses this cow as one of it's many symbols of worship. As is often the case with pantheons throughout history, there are sometimes similarities that overlap. Hathor is one of the female deities that is also associated with the greek goddess Aphrodite.

There is a story about Hathor that has particular interest to someone bearing an eye on vampiric history. Kemet had once been seperated into Upper Kemet and Lower Kemet. The unification of the two regions was the result of a twenty eight year war of brutal proportions. The casualties on both sides were high. At the end of the war, peace returned to the land of Kemet and calm resumed, laying the way for a prosperous age in which the pharaoh Mentuhotep III reigned. The tale that follows this war is the one of which I speak.

It is said that Ra (represented by the pharaoh of Upper Kemet) no longer had the respect of his people (those of Lower Kemet) and they had begun disobeying him and otherwise shirking his authority. According to the myth, Ra communicated through Hathor's third eye (or Maat) and told her of his impending assassination that was being planned by the people in the land. It angered Hathor that the people she herself had created and brought into this world would do such a thing as to plan this heinous event. She was so angered in fact that she became Sekhmet, the war goddess of Upper Kemet. Hathor (as Sekhmet) then went on what has been called a bloodthirsty slaughter that could not be stopped. Upon seeing the effect his news had on his precious Hathor, Ra became regretful of the ensuing chaos and chose to stop Sehkmet from continuing her slaughter. To do this, he decided it best to trick Sekhmet. Ra flooded the fields with beer brewed by the women of Heliopolis and dyed red on Ra's orders, from the red ochre of Elephantine (an island in the Nile), in order to stop Sekhmet's rampaging slaughter of people (as Hathor mistook it for the blood of her victims, which she craved).

Thinking that he was pouring out blood for her in reward for her service, she drank it with frenzied delight, so much of it that she became drunk and fell into a slumber. After waking from this slumber, she had once more returned to her normal, gentle, loving, joyful self as his beautiful Hathor.

Wake Up Dark One

Take these colors in my soul
Ring them out and lay them down
Place them at your feet and look
What do you see?
Another world inside two places at once
How can this be?
A portal within the gateway of the mind
One side shakes and holds the chaos
Wishing to burst free
To be released and thrust forward
Needing for the world to see
What lives beneath the surface?
Just one hard breath from the divine
Breathe deep and pull me in
Hear the cry of death inside
Tamed and held just out of reach
Are you afraid?
You should be
For the hunt is on and you’ve set me loose
To run raging through this plane
No catching me now
I’ll slip through your fingers

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

Quenching the thirst for death as I taunt and dive down
I’m right behind you now with an evil grin
You hold still listening
The beat of your heart is deafening
A soft tongue drawn across your neck
Warm breath against your spine
The hairs stand up I moan in ecstasy
My, aren’t you innocent?
I shall corrupt you, make you mine
Rooted, you keep eyes forward
Afraid to look while I trace a nail down your jaw
I slip my hand into your shirt caressing your chest
Smelling the soap on your shoulder
I watch your eyes roll back
Your breath coming in short gasps

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

You tremble as eyelids flutter closed
Beg me for your release
I circle you, touching you
Hair, skin, nails positively jumping
I turn from you and take a few steps
I hear you follow
You are under my spell
Your soul’s for sale and I’ve made my bid
Oh yes, eternity with me
Feasts and bounty never ending
You only need slake my thirst
I glance over my shoulder
But I don’t need to look to see
You want me don’t you?
A throaty laugh rings like a bell

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

My hips begin to sway slowly
I close my eyes and dance further off
Pulling you off the path
You wonder if this is dream
Do you remember me?
I’ve been visiting you
Watching you sleep so peacefully
I almost pitied you it was so easy
Now here you stand before me
On the verge of immortality
I’ll make you a God
A God that worships only me
I’ll give you a glimpse of heaven
You’ll find it in my arms
While I sink my claws in you
Reveling in delight

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

I watch your halo slip and fall
You don’t even notice it shatter on the ground
Now you see my true colors don’t you?
As you take your place among the infinite
A wicked leer paints your features
And I am filled with hellish pride
You make it so easy to murder
You’ll thank me when I’m through
Oh yes, I’m guilty
But have you begged my mercy?
I leave your fate up to you
Do you want redemption?
Or will you follow me to the end while I eat you alive?
I don’t want a martyr by my side

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

The pressure is building and your body shudders
I take your hands and press them down
You offer no resistance
I feel you willing, eager
Lost in the sweetness of my fruit
Our bodies reach out as one
In that moment of fire and fury
I pierce you as you pierce me

Wake up dark one of mine
I’ve got something to tell you
The change has come to take your life
Come my child, the storm beckons
Take your place with the divine
You’ll take it like a God in time

A Study In Erotica: 9/23/09 Fantasy Art!!!

Introduction: A Study In Erotica

I have been thinking about the different things I tend to post here and how they could be considered to be something of a crossection of my interests. There are the articles and self reflections concerning Vampirism as well as BDSM, not to mention the poetry, stories, music, videos and anything else that strikes my fancy. One thing that has been something of a constant though is the fact that with each post I have included an image from my extensive collection. I often find myself looking at an image that I would like to include in a post here and thinking, what can I write that will make this picture an approriate accompaniment to it? Often times though they are images that I cannot find suitable words for without veering into the category of Erotica. And I have nothing at all against Erotica, in fact I personally am a huge fan of it. ;-) I just haven't done much fictional writing in that genre.

And now I suddenly realize I have been going about it all wrong! If I wish to share an image with you, why not let it stand alone for you, the reader, to be able to truly appreciate the full impact of it. A good erotic image needs no explanation. Beauty needs no description. Sensuality needs no crutch of words. And so I present to you the beginning of a new regular segment on This Tainted Soul Of Mine, in which I will allow the art I wish to share with you to speak for itself, as it was originally intended. I do so hope you enjoy them as much as I do. *wicked grins*

Vampiric Abilties: Fact or Fiction

From the newly awakened to the seasoned mentor, most Vampires are fascinated with what abilities they might possibly be able to learn and/or master. For those that are just at the beginning stages of learning, this can be one of the most exciting parts of the process. When I first stumbled across the Vampire Community, I actually didn't believe that Real Vampires existed, despite the fact that I had awakened a little over a decade beforehand. One of the things that kept me progressing in my efforts to learn more was the fact that in continuing to read the words of other's experiences, I began to notice certain similarities between their stories and my own. The largest portion of these similarities lay within the subject of the abilities that they had noticed having. So in keeping with the effort to aid in the furthering of accurate and reliable knowledge within this group, I felt it would perhaps be beneficial to begin this thread as a place to discuss the various abilities that we as Vampires are capable of. I will address a few in the following paragraphs but please come forward to add your own questions and comments on the subject. There is no way I could possibly cover all viable abilities in this one post, but perhaps by discussing some of them it will spark some inner reflection in which you, the reader, will be spurred on to think of others.

First, let's dispel a few myths regarding Vampiric Abilities.

There are two separate varieties that these myths often take form as. First there is the outright fictional type of myths. These are the ones that we could not accomplish by any stretch of the imagination. Such as the ability to change our form to that of a bat or the ability to fly. Real Vampires can do neither unfortunately (though I admit it would be pretty cool if we could). The second type of myth are those that serve as an exaggeration of real abilities. A couple examples of this would be the myth that states that we have "superhuman" strength and speed and could easily outrun a speeding car or even lift a bus as if it weighed nothing. These are the tricky sort of myths because, although we may have slightly quicker reactions or may be stronger then one would expect for someone of our stature, we still remain within the range of human possibility. For instance, we could not lift a car on a whim but much as it has been known that a mother can find the strength to lift a vehicle off of her toddler by the strength of her will and adrenaline alone, many of us are also capable of such feats of strength in the event of an emergency. In a non-emergency situation however, we are only capable of slightly increased strength. Though we cannot outrun a speeding car, we can often at will put on a burst of speed as we run that is slightly faster then one would imagine to be possible. In other words, upon taking notice of our abilities an outside observer might say something like, "Wow...that person is stronger then they look!" or "That person has great reflexes!". However you should not expect to hear anyone refer to you as being "faster then a speeding bullet" anytime soon because if you do, you will surely be disappointed.

So what types of abilities are possible?

There are some that are physical in nature such as having a more sensitive sense of smell, acute hearing or highly developed night vision. These are common. There are also those that are more mental or psychic in nature such as Empathy which, although they not exclusively vampiric abilities, they do occur in higher percentages within the Vampire population then they do within the Mundane (mainstream human) population. Below I will list some of these abilities.

Empathy - the ability to transmit emotions over a distance or experience someone else's emotions as one's own

Telepathy - the ability to transmit thoughts over a distance or read someone's mind

Clairvoyance - the ability to see things that are outside the normal range of perception

Clairaudience - the ability to hear things outside the normal range of perception

Precognition - having knowledge of an event before it occurs by means of extrasensory perception

Astral Projection - the ability to seperate one's soul from their physical body and leave the physical body for a limited time to roam the astral plane or travel to other locations within the physical world and/or interact with other people.

Divination - the ability to foretell future events or reveal truth with unusual insight by means of occult practices such as the reading of tarot cards, tea leaves, crystal balls, astrological charts, numerology, palm reading, etc, etc.

Retrocognition - the ability to see objects or events in the past that one has no way of having had previous knowledge of

Psychokinesis (PK) - the ability to move objects or affect physical processes outside the body through mental effort alone. This is also often referred to as Telekinesis.

Aura reading - learning about people by perceiving the colored aura that surrounds them

Dreamwalking - entering another person's dream while you also are in a unconsious state or calling another into your own dream.

Pyrokinesis (one of several forms of elemental manipulation) - being able to manipulated fire by sheer will of thought.

What is the cause of Vampirism??

I was recently asked, "Does anyone know why vampires have 'leaky energy' in the first place?" There are a multitude of theories out there regarding what the cause of vampirism (or more specifically, the need to feed) really is. Some say it is caused by damaged chakras, a theory which would lend itself to the concept of the vampire's inability to keep the energy that their systems produce. Others say it is something akin to a scientific or medical malady created by man by way of a virus that has caused some sort of mutation on the basic DNA makeup of an otherwise completely normal individual. A virus which is currently only able to be treated through metaphysical means by way of feeding. Which of course, would cause one to wonder if perhaps someday there will be a medical answer...a "cure" for vampirism so to speak. Still others believe that vampires don't necessarily leak energy but instead just don't produce enough of it on their own to be able to maintain a healthy and happy life. There are even those that believe that feeding isn't needed to replenish a deficient energy system so much as simply being a tool. One which is used to achieve greater use and control of one's abilities and therefore eventually leading to the ascension of one's higher self.

However, no one really knows for sure why we are the way we are. I suspect this is because there actually isn't one universal answer that covers all of us. I say this because despite the many different theories available out there, most have one specific theory that seems to make more sense to them then the others. Even among those that haven't heard any the various theories, upon deep self reflection many find that they will pose a theory on their own. And it will, most times, be among one of the already proposed possibilities for the cause of vampirism.

My personal thoughts on the subject is that there isn't one cause, one reason. In my opinion, I think there are various causes. Perhaps, only when we look at each person on a case by case basis, will we be discover each person's individual reason for being of such a nature. In my case, I know that the cause of my own vampirism is due to none of the above theories. The reason I need to feed is that I use my energy up very quickly. I produce it just as well as any non-vampiric person. In fact I would actually hazard to guess that if there were a way to physically measure such a thing, one would find I might even produce energy within my personal stores faster then normal. However I still use it up too fast and this is not something I have control over. It just takes a great deal of energy to maintain many of my abilities. Empathy, telepathy, telekinesis, astral projection, energy work, healing and dream walking all take energy to maintain and/or accomplish. Because many of these abilities are not of the sort that I can easily switch on or off, i have no say in whether my energy get's used this way or not. The abilities are there to stay but they do cost me. Therefore vampirism is the only answer for me. Even if I went to a healer, they could not help me because it is not caused by some sort of damage that would benefit from a healers touch.

A Treat!!

Here is a little treat for those that are following this blog. A link to The latest episode of True Blood, season 2 episode 11 titled "Frenzy". Enjoy!!

Eyes Are The Window To The Soul

So I give you an open invitation to look into my own soul. Welcome! You've been expected...

As She Slipped Away

She slipped away from me last night. One moment she was there on the table getting her stomach pumped and the next…nothing. I prayed last night. The strange thing was, I wasn’t even really sure whom I was praying to. Everyone…no one, it’s all the same really. I wouldn’t say that I am one who has lost their faith. I suppose one must have faith first to lose it. I had confirmation last night of something that has lingered in my mind for some time though.

I was praying to the nebulous someone or someones out there when I felt her spirit away. And rather then become saddened or more fearful, I felt a calm wash over me for a moment. With my eyes closed I felt the pain of a part of my soul being ripped from my heart and suddenly I knew what I should do. I stopped praying and I opened my heart and soul. I took the blinding light that I carry within me and I poured it into her still and quiet body mercilessly. I pushed the essence of my being into her as I have never pushed before, with purpose and determination.

I felt the doctors working on her, bustling around like so many busy ants. None of it seemed real though. It all seemed somehow to be so far from reality that it was like a haze, a fog settling in and only one thing remained clear. The girl that lay on the table before me was a drastic contrast to the activity around her. She lay there so absently, still as death itself. For that is what had settled over her briefly, this shroud of death which clung to her like a sticky film that one can’t wash off.

I stood at the end of the bed, next to her head, watching everything with a certain detached feeling. I marveled at the fact that none of the good doctors and nurses could see me. They perhaps could sense me if they were of the sort that could pick up on such things but I had no reason to think any of them were in fact a possible sensitive, privy to the sensations of astral bodies nearby. Frantically they continued their efforts and I smiled sadly at them, knowing they were doing their best and also knowing that it wasn’t working.

I placed my hand on her head, petting her hair the way she always liked. The movements of the doctors were becoming fewer and slower as time itself seemed to slow to a crawl. A nurse held a pen in her hand and had an eye on the clock, waiting to be told when to write down the time. I looked back down at the girl on the table and leaned forward, softly laying my lips upon her cool forehead and I breathed myself into her. With every breath I poured that which is me into her. She was the vessel and I became the liquid light that filled it. I felt myself reach out and pull everything I could from every other person in the room, a collective sigh escaping their lips. My eyes unfocused and still I filled her.

A hand touched my back and I knew it was He. He then reached for her hand and lifted it to his lips, doing the same as I. Together we let our power loose on her. Shadowy figures began stepping forward, family coming forth to lend a hand. And still I pressed my breath into her with a whisper, “It is not your time, little one. You must come back. I am sorry but you cannot yet leave. Hate me if you will but you must return. We need your light.” I felt her struggling, just out of reach. Not wanting to return.

“No! It hurts too much!! I want to go! Let me go!!!”, She says to me.

My heart feels another wrenching tear and I can no longer hold myself back. I feel that part of me take over, the part I hide the most, telling few about it. The Goddess steps forth from my inner core and I feel the large red wings spread out behind me. I lift my lips from her forehead and nothing but a piercing light can be seen where once my eyes were for they have gone blind in power, but I no longer need to see to accomplish what I must.

I place a hand upon her chest, over her heart and the other hand I stretch to the heavens. With a thought and the flip of a mental switch I am touching the Source of all and I become the conduit for its power. The sensation is overwhelming and a roar tears from my throat as I withstand the extreme discomfort. He comes to my side again, wrapping his arms around me and holding me up as my knees become weak. And still we do not stop.

A slow but steady sound begins to echo at last against the stark white walls and large glass door of the somewhat small room. This is shortly followed by a startled gasp. Beep…Beep…Beep. It is an odd sound. Beep…Beep…Beep. It is not a sound made by natural means, but rather by a manmade device, which suddenly has commanded the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes are turned toward it in rapt interest. Beep…Beep…Beep. I am slumped against Him now in exhaustion but I find the strength to lift my head and open my now dim eyes once more. Upon searching for the source of the gasp, my gaze falls upon the nurse with the pen. She is no longer staring at the clock. Her eyes dart between the girl on the table and the machine next to her that continues to give its repetitive series of beeps.

“Doctor…”, her eyes are wide and she simply stares, as whatever words she would have spoken trail off and become forgotten.

The girl on the table lies there in slumber now, her heart beating out a slow, soft, steady rhythm. My line of vision flicks over to the shadowy figures of those that had approached to lend a hand. With soft, relieved smiles and a sage-like nod from the both of them, they melt from my sight into the background. He and I each take turns caressing the sleeping girl’s cheek lovingly. Exchanging a meaningful glance with one another, we too step back from the table. We quietly fade from the room, hand in hand, so that we may once more find our physical bodies where they lay miles away, in a state of deep meditation.

My eyes flutter open and my thumb absentmindedly runs back and forth over the face of the cell phone in my hand. Shortly I will receive a call bearing news. They will tell me that she is in critical but stable condition. I lay there in the darkened room, alone with my thoughts.

I wonder to myself, will she hate me? Will she even remember? Or will she awake, as anyone else would, with no knowledge of what came to pass in that hospital room while she tried to slip away. An exhausted smile touches my lips and silent tears of relief trail from my eyes as I think to myself that could perhaps ask her tomorrow. I roll from my back to my side and curl up, still deep in thought. I had always suspected that there was real power beneath the surface of what meets the eyes of most when they look upon He or I. Pity that confirmation of such things must come in such frightening packages.

Fantasy Vs. Reality - The Vampire FAQs

I awakened to my Vampiric nature in this lifetime about 15 years ago and in the time that has passed since then I have been asked many questions about what Real Vampires are all about. So in the interest of free information, which I personally am all for, I have put together a list of the most frequently asked questions that I have gotten from normal mainstream folks that want to know more about my kind. The answers I give here are my opinions, observations and beliefs.

Are Vampires the walking dead?
No. We have completely mortal human bodies like everyone else.

Are Vampires immortal?
No. Our bodies do grow old and eventually die. Many of us do appear younger then our actual years though and we often will heal from wounds & injuries a bit faster then regular folks so this will make us more likely to reach a full lifespan. The myth of immortality may stem from the fact that many of us have memories from previous lives as our souls are reborn over and over. You can see how such a myth began when you consider how it would sound to an outsider if they were to overhear two Vampires discussing a previous lifetime in which they knew one another. It might begin to sound as if they have been ageless and immortal should they be heard discussing the day to day life of living during civil war times as if it were yesterday with the tone that one would use while discussing a shopping list. It is also a common opinion that not all vampiric and otherkin souls are reincarnated as some souls “feel” younger then others. But it is the “old souls” that have been mistaken for immortals and thus gave birth to this particular myth quite by accident.

Is a Vampire turned or born?
Vampires are born as they are, with vampiric souls. They are not turned. This is one of those nasty rumors that most true vampires will not touch with a ten foot pole. It is a controversial subject even among our own community because many of us have been plagued with endless requests to “please turn me”. This myth also can find it’s roots in reality to a certain extent though. You see, when a vampire is born they are in a “latent” or “dormant” state. It is not until they awaken to their vampiric state that they will take on the majority of traits attributed to one who is of our nature. This usually doesn’t occur until later adolescence for most but it has happened much earlier in some and much later in others. A latent vampire can sometimes be sparked into awakening by one or more awakened vampires though. A latent vampire exudes what is referred to as a beacon, which is an energy signature that other vampires can pick up on, drawing them to the latent vampire, though they may not always know why they feel so drawn to this person. This beacon has a powerful pull on the vampire and is often mistaken as physical attraction, love or deep friendship. It is merely the physical proximity of another vampire that will often spark such an awakening but because of the nature of the “beacon” and it’s highly emotional effects, it is easy to see how many would see a romance ensue between a vampire and a seemingly non-vampiric person, then before you know it, after a few hickeys or love bites show up, the awakening has occurred for the latent vampire and they begin to show symptoms of vampiric traits. This could be mistaken for the act of turn someone with a vampires “dark kiss”, but in reality both individuals were indeed born as vampires. Another way that this rumor of turning came to be is a condition known as sympathetic vampirism. This has been known to occur between a vampire and their donor. When a vampire feeds on the same donor too much or too often, the donor can then become depleted of their personal energy stores if not given the proper time and chance to allow their system to return to a normal state of being. When this happens, they may begin to display vampiric traits up to and including the need to feed. It could appear that this non-vampiric donor has thus been turned. However if the overzealous vampire gives their donor enough time and rest between feedings, then the donors system will indeed return to normal in time and such vampiric symptoms will cease. Therefore this also would not be considered to be a case of actual turning.

What about crosses, garlic, churches and holy water…do they harm or deter Vampires?
No, this is complete and total pish posh. Many vampires are fond of crosses for aesthetic reasons. Garlic adds a lovely flavor to a meal and I myself quite enjoy my Italian food with plenty of it. If you thrown holy water on a vampire, you will only succeed in pissing them off for having gotten their clothes wet (many of us are rather particular about our clothes and appearance). You will often find us in churches, temples, synagogues, mosques and any other place of worship because we come from all many of religious affiliation. You will find Catholic vampires, Protestant vampires, Mormon vampires, Muslim vampires, Buddhist vampires, Pagan vampires, Satanist vampires and many, many more because being a vampire has nothing to do with good and evil nor does it have anything to do with religious beliefs.

Are vampires Evil/Damned?
No, evil is a choice not an accident of birth or a product of ones nature. We do have some bad apples but no more then that of the general population of humanity as a whole. Many of us tend to be more sensitive, compassionate and generous in nature because it is so easy for us to pick up on the feelings and emotions of others. This causes many a vampire to choose to use their abilities to help heal others of their physical or emotional pain through energy work because we do not wish to see others suffer needlessly.

Can Vampires fly, shapeshift or command swarming clouds of bats?
Two words: I…wish. Seriously though, that would be awesome but no, we can’t.

Will a Vampire eat my soul?
Hahah. No. We have our own thank you very much, we don’t need yours too. What vampires do feed on is the energy (a.k.a. prana, chi, qui, lifeforce) of an individual. This is that which we find ourselves to be deficient of which needs to be replenished in order for us to lead happy, healthy lives. There are two different schools of thought regarding why vampires have this deficiency and both have merit. First there is the theory that we do not efficiently produce energy within our own personal stores as quickly as others do. Second, there is the theory that vampires expend their personal energy stores at a higher rate then other do due to the fact that many of our abilities require a great deal of energy to perform and/or maintain. In my own personal opinion, I think that it may be a combination of the two different theories that contribute to our depleted energetic states.

So do Vampires really drink blood??
Yes. Some of us do anyway. Blood is a very potent source of the energy that vampires require. Those that feed in this way are called Sanguine Vampires, or Sangs for short. Because blood is so rich in energy, a vampire does not need very much to reap the benefits of feeding. Contrary to popular Hollywood-style myth, a vampire can sustain themselves quite well from just a few teaspoons worth of blood (equivalent to one or two shot glasses full).

Do Vampires have fangs?
Some do. Some don’t. Slightly elongated canines are not a strictly vampiric trait though. It is a genetic/hereditary trait passed down from one’s family and can manifest in both vampires and those that are strictly human alike. So far, there does not seem to be a higher instance of elongated canines among vampires over that of the general populace.

So do Vampires consider themselves to be human?
This depends entirely on the individual vampire. Our bodies (also referred to at times as our shells) are completely 100% human, yes. There are those that believe that they are entirely human both inside and out, and that the only difference between themselves and the average joe is the need to manage an energy deficiency much as a diabetic must manage their insulin levels. However, there are others that retain memories of past lives, other planes of existence, other worlds even…and this causes them to come to the conclusion that despite their having human bodies, their souls are in fact “more human then human” and therefore specifically that of a vampiric rather then human soul. I am of the latter type myself. I consider myself to have a totally human body as well as a totally vampiric soul.

Can Vampires recognize each other? Could they pick one another out of a crowd?
Yes, for the most part. This is related to the beacon effect that latent vampires give off. The energy signature of an awakened vampire resonates in a way that is often easily recognized by other vampires as well as other varieties of otherkin. Depending on how strong a vampire’s personal beacon is, as well as how sensitive the one that is picking up on it is, it can result in anything from a little twinge of feeling that this person has a familiarity about them to an overwhelmingly powerful sense of being drawn to this person and just feeling deep down that you KNOW them. This feeling can be even stronger still if the other vampire is a member of one’s soul group (the group of souls that you have lived lifetime after lifetime with, spending eons with you as your mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, lovers, enemies and comrades). In this case, once the two vampires recognize one another it will respark the eternal connection that the two have with one another and likely a lifelong bond is rediscovered between the two, for these are Family bonds that even death cannot break.

If you have other questions that you would like to see included and addressed in a future post, please feel free to email them to me at crystalis29@gmail.com or add them to the comments of the blog. Thanks all!