Showing posts with label Feeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feeding. Show all posts

Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Reunion



I emerged from the red, brick building wearing little more than absolutely necessary. The 3/4 length coat kept the cool air at bay as I walked down the front steps and turned toward the well-worn path that led around the building to another less visible flight of stairs behind a large flowering shrub. I let my fingernails trail along the wall as I follow the steps down to a black door. The heavy wood of the door gives in slowly as I carefully push through our own carefully prepared wards and enter the darkness. I step down yet another staircase, leading down past the foundation and basement, past the long standing tunnels with their torch lit walls, down into a hallway at the very end. A strange mix of modern structure and natural surroundings, I enter a large cavernous fire lit room with walls covered in burgundy silk. Large steel hooks interjected the line of the silk draperies by occasionally scooping them aside to reveal sordid delights within the small alcoves beyond. Whether it be a niche filled with an assortment of whips, crops and canes, or another with a chair that contained a variety of hooks and tie downs that promised a night of perverse pleasures, there was something exciting to behold beyond each gap in the fabric.
I continued to walk, past each new and exciting scenario that presented itself to me. Above me, the cave ceiling lay naked and bare, the flickering shadows of the torches playing against the stone. I came to a stop in front of one steel hook that had lost its grip on the silk and allowed the drape to slip closed. Smiling in anticipation, I tugged the cloth aside and strode in with the clip-clop of my boots echoing sharply in the silence. The shadows seem even thicker in this particular alcove. I became eager as I watched the light play of fire, shadows, steel, and there just beyond the metal bars, gleaming skin with a sheen of sweat rippling over the muscled frame of the man in the cell. My smile deepens, reaching my eyes as recognition settles in. The young one who had passed me the message of the new donors arrival had no way of knowing whom it was that had landed in my personal dungeon. She was new. Not many had been around long enough to remember this one. He was no donor. Nor was he prey. He was however a challenge, and a welcome one at that. He was my kind of predator.
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I let the words purr from my lips like so much warmed honey. His head lifts at the sound of my voice, for he knows it well. The corners of his mouth twitched with humor and something akin to relief.
"When did you get back into town?" I ask as I let the metal key in my fingers play back and forth across my nails with a click, click, clicking sound.
"It is better for you if you do not know that, darling" He replies. He is probably right about that. The last time we parted ways, he was climbing out a window and I was rushing toward a door to stall the quickly approaching detective long enough to give him a head start. Now he was on the other side of my own cell bars, looking thoroughly scrumptious in the matching black boxers and blindfold. It was practically tradition by now for concentual donors to be presented to me in this fashion when they came seeking our kind.

I breathed in the scent that is only him. It was a mixture of natural scents like water, earth and lush vegetation, with an underlying musk that has the power to intoxicate the senses. I allow the belt that held my coat closed to slide open and I shrugged the material off my shoulders. The remaining vinyl and leather of my boots, corset and panties glimmered nicely in the lighting.

"If I let you out, are you going to be a good boy and behave?" My lips curled into a suggestive grin and one eyebrow raises slightly as I wait for an answer.

"You always sound so damned cute when you get that sound in your voice." I could see his shoulders shaking ever so slightly with mirth, the dimple in his cheek showing up as it always did when he turned up the charm. The key turned around one last time in my fingers before penetrating the lock, my hand turning of it's own accord as the blindfold falls to the floor.

With supernatural speed, the door was thrown open and my back hit the wall, cracking beneath my shoulders. Our mouths were locked in a struggle to drink each other in deeply, hands buried in one anothers hair, pulling each other closer still, bare chest crushed against leather clad breasts. I barce my feet against the wall behind me and push off with my Will, my legs carrying out the motions so that it appeared as if we've defied gravity through a feat of strength. We sail across the room, this time landing him against the wall, crushing the shape of his back into the stone beyond the silk that fell in an explosion of rich red color. As the cloth cascaded down his shoulders in a smooth swishing rush, I leaned backward as far as I could with my legs locked around his waist. Gravity pulled him with me and flipped us both over and onto the newly silk covered ground.

His eyes widen at the sudden realization that he is laying on a bed of dark red with me straddling him...excited, horny and unusually hungry. My eyes have already begun glowing emerald green, a wicked grin spreading across my features as my canines elongated to feeding length.

A similar look crossed his face, teeth and all, shortly before he lowers his voice to a whisper of a growl and says, “Come for me my darling, for old time’s sake. Squirm for me one more time.”

Of its own accord, my body reacts as if a day has it passed since the time that I willingly submitted to him in both body and will. My eyelids flutter as my head rolls back in ecstasy, back arched. Muscles gripping and tightening deep in my belly, I rake my nails across the floor, cutting through the piles of fabric and hitting stone just as a long low moan of pleasure rises up and looses itself from my chest. Feeling as if liquid fire is pumping through my veins, a curl of golden mist starts to sweep across the room, a testament to how our powers have grown since last we parted. The very life force that we once sought out together in the shadows, poured through the room now, growing brighter with every arch of my back. Wracked with sheer pleasure, I lose all sense of my surroundings and there is only him. I push the heat and power of my orgasm into him as I give a final shudder of release.
I lean forward, lightly flicking my tongue against his lips, tasting him, marking him. I let my lips softly brush across his cheek and nuzzle my face into his neck as I whisper huskily into his ear.

“I’ve missed you, Love.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Monday, November 2, 2009

Wake Up Dark One





Take these colors in my soul
Ring them out and lay them down
Place them at your feet and look
What do you see?
Another world inside two places at once
How can this be?
A portal within the gateway of the mind
One side shakes and holds the chaos
Wishing to burst free
To be released and thrust forward
Needing for the world to see
What lives beneath the surface?
Just one hard breath from the divine
Breathe deep and pull me in
Hear the cry of death inside
Tamed and held just out of reach
Are you afraid?
You should be
For the hunt is on and you’ve set me loose
To run raging through this plane
No catching me now
I’ll slip through your fingers

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

Quenching the thirst for death as I taunt and dive down
I’m right behind you now with an evil grin
You hold still listening
The beat of your heart is deafening
A soft tongue drawn across your neck
Warm breath against your spine
The hairs stand up I moan in ecstasy
My, aren’t you innocent?
I shall corrupt you, make you mine
Rooted, you keep eyes forward
Afraid to look while I trace a nail down your jaw
I slip my hand into your shirt caressing your chest
Smelling the soap on your shoulder
I watch your eyes roll back
Your breath coming in short gasps

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

You tremble as eyelids flutter closed
Beg me for your release
I circle you, touching you
Hair, skin, nails positively jumping
I turn from you and take a few steps
I hear you follow
You are under my spell
Your soul’s for sale and I’ve made my bid
Oh yes, eternity with me
Feasts and bounty never ending
You only need slake my thirst
I glance over my shoulder
But I don’t need to look to see
You want me don’t you?
A throaty laugh rings like a bell

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

My hips begin to sway slowly
I close my eyes and dance further off
Pulling you off the path
You wonder if this is dream
Do you remember me?
I’ve been visiting you
Watching you sleep so peacefully
I almost pitied you it was so easy
Now here you stand before me
On the verge of immortality
I’ll make you a God
A God that worships only me
I’ll give you a glimpse of heaven
You’ll find it in my arms
While I sink my claws in you
Reveling in delight

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

I watch your halo slip and fall
You don’t even notice it shatter on the ground
Now you see my true colors don’t you?
As you take your place among the infinite
A wicked leer paints your features
And I am filled with hellish pride
You make it so easy to murder
You’ll thank me when I’m through
Oh yes, I’m guilty
But have you begged my mercy?
I leave your fate up to you
Do you want redemption?
Or will you follow me to the end while I eat you alive?
I don’t want a martyr by my side

Wake up dark son of mine
Because I’ve got something to tell you
Change is coming to take your life
The storm is brewing
Keep your head now
You’ll take it like a man this time

The pressure is building and your body shudders
I take your hands and press them down
You offer no resistance
I feel you willing, eager
Lost in the sweetness of my fruit
Our bodies reach out as one
In that moment of fire and fury
I pierce you as you pierce me

Wake up dark one of mine
I’ve got something to tell you
The change has come to take your life
Come my child, the storm beckons
Take your place with the divine
You’ll take it like a God in time

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What is the cause of Vampirism??





I was recently asked, "Does anyone know why vampires have 'leaky energy' in the first place?" There are a multitude of theories out there regarding what the cause of vampirism (or more specifically, the need to feed) really is. Some say it is caused by damaged chakras, a theory which would lend itself to the concept of the vampire's inability to keep the energy that their systems produce. Others say it is something akin to a scientific or medical malady created by man by way of a virus that has caused some sort of mutation on the basic DNA makeup of an otherwise completely normal individual. A virus which is currently only able to be treated through metaphysical means by way of feeding. Which of course, would cause one to wonder if perhaps someday there will be a medical answer...a "cure" for vampirism so to speak. Still others believe that vampires don't necessarily leak energy but instead just don't produce enough of it on their own to be able to maintain a healthy and happy life. There are even those that believe that feeding isn't needed to replenish a deficient energy system so much as simply being a tool. One which is used to achieve greater use and control of one's abilities and therefore eventually leading to the ascension of one's higher self.

However, no one really knows for sure why we are the way we are. I suspect this is because there actually isn't one universal answer that covers all of us. I say this because despite the many different theories available out there, most have one specific theory that seems to make more sense to them then the others. Even among those that haven't heard any the various theories, upon deep self reflection many find that they will pose a theory on their own. And it will, most times, be among one of the already proposed possibilities for the cause of vampirism.


My personal thoughts on the subject is that there isn't one cause, one reason. In my opinion, I think there are various causes. Perhaps, only when we look at each person on a case by case basis, will we be discover each person's individual reason for being of such a nature. In my case, I know that the cause of my own vampirism is due to none of the above theories. The reason I need to feed is that I use my energy up very quickly. I produce it just as well as any non-vampiric person. In fact I would actually hazard to guess that if there were a way to physically measure such a thing, one would find I might even produce energy within my personal stores faster then normal. However I still use it up too fast and this is not something I have control over. It just takes a great deal of energy to maintain many of my abilities. Empathy, telepathy, telekinesis, astral projection, energy work, healing and dream walking all take energy to maintain and/or accomplish. Because many of these abilities are not of the sort that I can easily switch on or off, i have no say in whether my energy get's used this way or not. The abilities are there to stay but they do cost me. Therefore vampirism is the only answer for me. Even if I went to a healer, they could not help me because it is not caused by some sort of damage that would benefit from a healers touch.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Psi-chology: Is it physical or metaphysical?


Upon awakening, most of us seek help from medical professionals to find some sort of relief for the issues that plague us (and rightly so). Unfortunately, some though, never get beyond this stage but rather go on the rest of their lives jumping from one doctor to the next, one medication to the next, one diagnosis to the next, all in an effort to recover and feel normal again. They may not be aware of the community of kindred, or they may simply be trying so hard to bring themselves back to a “normal” mental state that to allow oneself to give in to such fantastical thoughts would be in the opposite direction from what they believe recovery should be.


But then, there are also a few that run across the vampire and otherkin community and decide straight out of the gate that they must be “something” but they don’t know what and they never bother to look for any other answers to the problems they might be dealing with. The danger in this is they may be looking for metaphysical answers to completely mundane problems and by doing so may be actually harming themselves in the long run by allowing such a condition to worsen over time while they try to decide what form of otherkin they are.


Then there are some that have found a bit of balance between these two extremes. They sought out scientific, medical and psychological answers first and upon these things failing to bring any relief or comfort they moved on to less traditional answers and found that they were indeed not so much “ill” but rather just a bit different then other folks. This of course is the balanced and ideal way for it to occur.


But what about those folks that just so happen to be both of a kindred nature as well as dealing with a medical or psychological disorder? This is a much more common occurrence then you might think. We all have issues, we all live out our lives within human shells that are susceptible to germs, malfunctions, chemical imbalances and death. So it can be very tricky to know when something that is troubling us, is something that we should seek help for, or if it is something that is related to and caused by our inner nature.


Personally, I tend to assume that my own problems are often a combination of the two…both physical and metaphysical causes. There are some issues that I just know are purely mundane of course…the fact that I have to wear glasses or contacts to see well, the fact that I tend to be a bit OCD sometimes (obsessive-compulsive disorder, I feel the need to count things on occasion or put things in order according to symmetry), the fact that I had some bad discs in my spine that needed replacing….all of these have physical causes and explanations.


But then there are certain physical issues that I have that become exacerbated by metaphysical ones. For instance, I can be a bit ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and when I have recently fed very well or am feeling a greater then usual need to feed, well the issue becomes worse for me and I have even more trouble focusing on one thought for any length of time.


There are also things that I know are caused by purely metaphysical reasons for me as well. I was once diagnosed as being Bipolar (extreme mood swing cycles from manic to depressed and back again) but once I learned how to manage my need to feed this particular issue went away for me entirely. If I am getting depressed for no good cause then it is a red flag to me that I may need to feed. If I am overly excitable, antsy, irritable and generally manic, then I understand that I need to do some relaxation exercises, grounding and centering to bring myself back to where I need to be.


It takes a lot of time to get to know yourself and your body to the point that you can understand whether something has a physical or metaphysical cause though, so when I am in doubt about a new situation that occurs, I tend to treat the issue as a combo deal. I seek help for any possible physical causes but don’t ignore the metaphysical possibilities either. This way I am not ignoring a possibly devastating and debilitating problem that could have been treated with early detection, nor am I allowing a problem to continue just because doctors may not know the cause. As in all things, for me balance is key.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Feeding Technique: The Elements



This for me is an interesting one since it also depends on what element I'm feeding from.


If it is Earth I am feeding from (the surrounding plants, animals, rocks, whatever that are around me) then I find the easiest way is simply to kind stretch out on the ground and first I listen to the sounds of life all around me. Say I'm in a forest...I zone in on the sounds of the birds in the trees, the creaking of the branches as they sway in the wind, the feel on the ground beneath me...eventually as I listen I will begin to pick up the smaller sounds...the insects in the bark of the trees, the leaves as they rustle beneath the weight of a single bird, the sound of a stream gurgling off in the distance. The more I zone into the sounds of life all around the more in touch I become with what I call the general spirit of the forest. I can feel it within me as I become a part of it. Once that connection is made mentally it becomes easy to visualize the life of the forest as it settles into you from the trees above and soaks up through your skin from the ground below. It is a gentle, calming and very relaxing feed.


If it is Fire I am feeding from, I stare at the matter that is burning...say it's a log in a campfire. I watch the embers beneath the flames as the red glow runs over the surface of the log, curling this way and that, until it seems almost to be a living thing with a mind of its own. I hold onto this feeling and visualize the fire itself as something of an entity all on its own, extending my hands toward it and feeling the heat of its touch. I close my eyes then and continue to hold in my mind the thought that this could be something like a being that is caressing my skin with warm hands. This all helps to solidify my concentration when it comes to extending a tentacle to that "being" in my mind's eye and pulling on its energy much as I would a one on one Psi feed from a distance. I let a little energy out, enough to form the tentacle as it extends from my hands to the warmth of the flame and then I allow that heat to travel back up into my hands and through my body. At first it can be a rather invigorating feed with a hint of excitement gained but the longer you sit there the more mellow you will become and soon you will feed warm and gooey inside, like you've just eaten a warm batch of grandma's melty fudge brownies. Or for those of you that are old enough to know what I mean, it feels much like you've had yourself a nice snifter of warmed brandy.


If it is Air or more specifically Wind that I am feeding from I find it to be a very easy feed. Perhaps it is due to my own odd ability to manipulate and direct the Wind itself. Though it is not technically my "element" astrologically speaking (I am on the cusp of Aires and Taurus so I am a mixture of the fire and earth signs as far as my personality goes...passionate but grounded...Yay me!) I do find that I have something of a connection to this element at all times. When the wind is going to blow I can feel it coming. When it gusts too hard I simply ask it to calm and it does. If the air is too still and stagnant I ask a breeze to come along and sure enough it will come. So I find this particular element and easy one to feed from as well. I simply call up a strong breeze by asking for one in my mind and as it blows I stand in it's path and let the gusts beat against my skin, simply soaking in what it has to offer. It almost reminds me of when someone pushes their energy into you. I don't usually need to pull anything in because it finds its own way quite easily. Much like the element of Air itself the energy it carries feels thin, as if it could weave its way between my very cells with little to no effort on my part. I can understand how it might not work that way for most though so I apologize if the description is of little help. The feed itself is, to me, a revitalizing one even though it is not terribly long lasting in its effects. It will always put a perky bounce in my step for a day or so though.


When it comes to Water however, I find this to be the opposite. I find it to be a more difficult feed as the energy has a thick quality to it in my opinion. I don't feed from things like showers, baths or pools...I find the man made atmosphere of it to be distracting to me and I become easily sidetracked with other thoughts. However I do know that there are some that utilize their showers as a daily booster in their own feeding schedules. When I do feed from water I find I must be in one of two places...either immersed in a moving body of water such as a river or somewhat deep stream, or I can also get away with being on a beach with as little as just my feet in the water. I do not know if it is the saltwater that makes a beach side feed easier or if it is simply the vastness of the body of water itself that is teeming with so much life, but I do find that the feed is easier at the beach. Perhaps it is actually because I find it easier to identify the ocean as having a will of its own. It is powerful and compelling, drawing sailors to it every day of the year. When a storm comes the sea can be as merciless as a coldhearted siren that pulls us deep into the cold drowning dark. I take it by now you see what I mean. To feed from the sea I must "feel" the power she holds. Only then can I allow the cold of the water at my feet to lick its way up my legs and carry the chill of it though my body. This is the feed. I find it to be the longest lasting of the elemental feeds and it is refreshing, invigorating, relaxing and rejuvenating all at once.

My Time In The Box




I went for a few years once without feeding. Worst...thing....ever. You see at the time I wasn't aware of my vampiric nature, I had awakened years earlier but remained ignorant as to the source of my problems. Anyway, after awakening I ended up subconsciously feeding on those around me without knowing it. Eventually this caused problems on the homefront. I recall my now ex telling me at the time that he dreaded coming home because I drained the life out of him. At the time I thought he was just being cruel. lol. Well, that's not to say he wasn't...but he had a point.

One day I ended up having something of a breakdown. A part of me just plain shut down. I was tired of always feeling his disapproval and judgments so I just shut that part of me off, walled it up and packed it away in a pretty bow. It created something of a sense of empathic blindness in me in a sense. I didn't know it at the time but I had basically created a two way shield between myself and the rest of the world. Everywhere I went I would imagine myself in a metal box with no openings, tucked safely away from the hurt of the world around me. This also ended up making the subconscious feedings impossible...nothing got in that shield and nothing got out.

I spent a good couple years that way. The first thing i noticed was my immune system went way the hell downhill. I got sick a lot and often had a hard time recovering from it. I also had trouble with depression which over time became worse and worse. My health continued to deteriorate as well. Within the two year time span that time occurred I ended having to have 3 surgeries.

After the final of the three, I decided to kinda peek out of the box and see if the world was still there the way I remembered it as having been, swimming with a sea of the emotions of others. It was when I woke up from that third surgery in fact. And i found that moment I pictured an opening in that box that surrounded me, the whole thing came tumbling down and I now have the words to describe what I felt that day. In short, I didn't just feed...I feasted! I recovered from the surgery in such record breaking time that I startled the doctors whose care I was under. My lingering depression also was gone within a matter of days.

In fact, that experience was what led me to begin my journey to discover who and what I really am. I decided to research empathy and in time I quite literally stumbled across the OVC (Online Vampire Community). Since then I've learned a great deal about the things I'd experienced that I had no words to describe at the time.