You May Enter

There is a knock at the door and a wicked smile spreads across my ruby coated lips. I lick them lightly, a hunger building inside that I know will soon be addressed. I put the hairbrush in my hand down, laying it on the vanity table in front of me. I decide to test him for a moment, make him wait and practice his patience, so I stand and walk to the table next to the large glass French doors that lead to the balcony, pouring a glass of champagne and sipping it languidly. I can hear his feet shuffle slightly on the other side of the door, no doubt with nervous anticipation. My smile widens as I reach for the handle to the balcony door, planning on making him wait just a tad longer. The excited mewing of Sadie at the door to the hotel suite, pawing underneath to reach him, changes my mind. I am a sucker for my furry girl.

"Come here, Sadie girl." I bend down as she turns from the door and trots across the room on her little twinkle toes to rub her head on my outstretched hand, purring loudly. "Do you think I should let him in babygirl?"

"Prrrrow!" She chirps happily.

"Well in that case why don't I let you do the honors? You know what to do, girl." I pick a card up from the table and hold it out to her. She takes it in her mouth and trots back across the room, her black fur gleaming like liquid obsidian. She drops the cardkey on the tile in front of the door and pushes it underneath with her nose.

She follows this with a very insistent and loud, "MEOW!"

I hear a low chuckle on the other side of the door. "You know I have to wait, Miss Sadie."

"You may enter." No sooner do I say the words then the sound of the cardkey unlocking the door greets my ears. I walk out onto the balcony and lean on the rail, looking down at the city, listening to the sound of his footsteps approaching.

"Thank you." His warm breath caresses my ear and his hands run round my waist from behind, holding me close as he gently kisses my neck. "You are a vision, my Goddess."

I turn to look him in the eye, he holds the contact for a moment and then lowers his stormy blue-grey eyes respectfully. He keeps his shoulders and head held high though. When we first started meeting like this his shoulders would slump but I had trained that sort of self deprecation out of him. No slave of mine would treat himself as if he were weak. It takes strength to serve and there is pride to be had in that fact.

I run one hand up the side of his neck, caressing his cheek briefly before continuing round to the nape of his neck, gathering his hair in my closing fist. I pull him closer until my lips meet his forehead, then I kiss the tip of his nose before hovering just a breath away from his own full lips. They part and a shaky breath escapes, filled with his eager anticipation. I lightly lick his lower lip and his breath catches. My lips cover his, tasting him.

To be continued...

What is Subspace?

Many people within the BDSM lifestyle may have heard the word Subspace but not known what it was. There are also many that have experienced Subspace firsthand without ever knowing the name for the mental state that had been achieved. The goal of this particular article is to inform others about what Subspace is, what the experience is like, what can cause it to occur as well as the importance of using safety for proper care and aftercare of someone that is in the midst of a Subspace experience.

The first question to address is, what is Subspace? Subspace is a psychological state of mind as well as a physical reaction of the body that occurs with a simultaneous elevation in a variety of neurotransmitters within the brain of an individual. In other words, the little feel good chemicals that can cause us to be happy (serotonin), to feel excited (endorphins and adrenaline), and to feel euphoric (dopamine) work together to create an amazingly pleasurable experience that is like no other. Physically, this can also cause an increase in heart rate, body temperature and respiration while also causing a decrease in response to outside stimuli such as pain.

With that being said, this still does not answer the question of what the experience is like for the person that is in the middle of it. While the above could be likened more to a scientific explanation, this is where we will lead into the more poetic and philosophical version of events. Each person’s experience with Subspace can be somewhat different. Some have described it as a spiritual experience, others as an out of body experience and still others describe it as a sensation of being drugged or high. The best way that we have to explain this is by offering what we have gone through firsthand. As we have mentioned in previous posts, both Sacredragon and I have been in a variety of roles within the spectrum of D/s so we both have a viewpoint to offer on this subject. While my own experiences may be further in the past then Sacredragon’s, they do still remain very fresh in my mind. Below we will offer our individual stories.

Crystalis: Back when I was a full 24/7 slave, there were many occurrences in which I entered Subspace. Often times this would occur during an active session that involved either a requirement of extreme submission to my dominant or when being subjected to pain, usually with an erotic context. However the entering of Subspace was achieved, the general sensations were the same for me. I would start by feeling overwhelmed by either my emotions or by the physical sensations I was going through. After a sustained period of time where this would steadily increase more and more, I would reach a point that I thought I could handle no more. This was the tipping point. Then I would suddenly be overcome by an extreme sense of calm and peace. This was the entering of Subspace. Once there, I would feel such pleasurable sensations. Everything around me would become fuzzy and unimportant except for my dominant and his attentions. I would completely slip out of any desire to be a separate entity from and it would feel to me as if there was a blending of souls. He was no longer separate from me because I felt as if I had become an extension of him. Every touch I received from him was euphoric, like he was the only water in the middle of the desert. A single kind word took on a whole new world of meaning. I felt a combination of feeling whole in a way I simply never could outside of Subspace while simultaneously feeling that I had no personal existence of my own. I became nothing and everything at once. Both extremely powerful and utterly powerless at the same time. I was everywhere and nowhere. I had no understanding of my own personal well being or safety for I truly no longer had any control what so ever of my own body and I never wanted this sensation to end. I felt completely vulnerable and indestructible all at once.  This is the best way I can describe my own past experiences with Subspace.

Sacredragon: The first thing I noticed was that I was unable to move but since I was with Crystalis I was perfectly okay with that. It was like the world was a puzzle and then She touched a single piece and it all came apart. For me, the peace of Subspace marched over me like warm water on a cold winters day. The world around me beyond my bed ceased to exist. It was like my body was being held down by an immense weight of energy and light. I saw what could only be described as a sight not unlike the northern lights. The appearance of these lights were influenced by every sound I heard and I was able to sense them in other ways too.  I could feel them and they almost smelled like roses. My senses switched in such wonderful ways. The smell of Her hair tasted like caramel apple pie. I loved that. When Crystalis first touched my skin, I had an intense feeling of joy as if nothing in the world could ever hurt me. I didn’t feel like She was touching my skin but rather like She was filling me from within, touching my very soul. I do not know if it was just a few minutes or if was a few hours but I know that the feeling is something that I want to feel again with Crystalis because the fleeting moment that I had with Subspace was not ever going to be enough. I can still feel it when she touches me, the feeling of peace and joy that I was brought in that moment. I don’t remember what occurred in the hour beforehand or the hour afterward but the experience while it occurred will always remain fresh. 

As you can see from the above descriptions that we shared with you, the ways that we each experienced Subspace held some similarities but were also very different. One key element that is similar in our Subspace experiences is the desire to return to or, not to leave the experience behind. This can be both addictive and problematic if proper care and safety measures are not administered both during and after the experience. As you’ve also read, however, there can be large differences as well, such as the sensory changes that occurred for Sacredragon and the loss of a sense of identity that happened for myself.

I explained what factors led to the entering of Subspace for myself in my own story. Although Sacredragon was not entirely aware of what led him to his entering of Subspace with me, I can tell you what I know of what I did to purposefully bring this experience to him in the most positive way possible. As far as the sequence of events that occurred leading up to his entering Subspace, there were a few things that happened. We had chosen to use the evening to do something that we had both had some fantasies about in the past. What we chose to do is considered to be edge play by many in the BDSM community. I do not suggest or condone this sort of activity for beginners or for anyone that is partnered with someone that they have even the slightest doubt about in regards to trust. The activity that we chose to do was bloodletting. For those of you that do not know what this is, there are several styles but we chose the mildest version, using a diabetic testing lancet to cause very shallow, minor wounds that allowed a few drops of blood to escape the surface of his skin.

Aside from the kink factors of why we chose this particular activity which I will not go into at this time, it allowed me to bring him closer to Subspace by allowing for certain key factors to take place. First, I was able to provide him with a feeling of safety and protection at my hands by proving to him that I cared dearly about him and would put his health first and foremost. I did this by making sure that the area I would be lancing was well cleaned by preparing the surface of the skin in advance with alcohol swabs. I then further earned his trust by testing out how sharp the lancets were by using them on my own finger first to make sure that I would not cause him too deep a wound. I kept the lines of communication free and open by letting him know what I was doing every step of the way. This further enhances the level of trust by showing true honesty and care for his emotional needs as well. Finally, after the bloodletting itself happened, I then took the steps to allow him to let go of control by physically restraining him. The mixture of lack of control, restraint and pain coupled with trust, honesty, love and respect were what gave him the best chances possible for a pleasurable and fulfilling Subspace experience. I do have one word of caution to any Dominant that is new to bringing a submissive to Subspace and that is this, if the submissive is not well restrained, do not allow them to slip too far into Subspace. At the very deepest point of Subspace, the submissive can enter a primal state of consciousness in which they can become dangerous  and/or physically violent to anyone and everyone in the room, including themselves. This is not their fault and they should never be punished for this as they have no control over themselves in this state.

This, in turn, leads us to one of the most important aspects of Subspace care…Aftercare. Aftercare is the largest factor in what can make for a gratifying Subspace experience. To neglect one’s submissive after a Subspace experience is not only cruel and unhealthy for them psychologically, it can be downright dangerous to them physically. The reason for this is due to the “come down” effect as those feel-good chemicals work their way out of the system. A submissive should be allowed to return to a natural state of being in their own time frame, though this does not mean extending the Subspace experience for them simply because they may beg for their Dom to do so, and believe me when I tell you that there are many that will do exactly that. However, the submissive should not be rushed into in depth conversations or physical tasks after a session either. This is because rushing a submissive through their return from Subspace can cause anything from extended dissociative episodes to shock.

What can one expect when a submissive is returning from Subspace? Although each individual is different, there are several elements that are more common and that a Dominant should be aware of when assisting a submissive during their return from Subspace. One of the highly common things that will occur is that the submissive will often get cold and start shivering. This is due to the effect of adrenaline leaving the system and this is why it is important to make sure that the submissive stays warm and comfortable. Providing them with a blanket or light covering will help with this. Another common occurrence is for the submissive to cry. Though it may be hard to watch them seem so sad, it is a natural reaction to what is tantamount to visiting nirvana and then having to return to the real world. Words of reassurance and affection can go a long way to help ease this part of the process. Also, for the Dominant to continuously speak to the submissive, they are helping to further re-anchor the submissive back into reality without causing trauma.

Allowing the submissive to remain in some form of physical contact (rubbing their back, holding their hand or just snuggling) can also offer a great amount of comfort and support as they continue to process their way through this experience. Understandably, this may not always be possible to do for long periods of time. In such a case, the Dominant should at least make sure to remain nearby the submissive, in the same room and within arm’s length is best. Whatever the Dominant does, they should always remember the cardinal rule of Aftercare…do NOT leave the submissive alone!. This can be both frightening and traumatic for them. When a Dominant leaves a submissive alone after returning from Subspace, they are essentially telling the submissive that they do not care about their well being and they cannot be trusted with the care of their submissive. If the Dominant is unable to be in direct contact with the submissive during the aftercare process, allowing the submissive to hear the Dominant’s voice can serve as a reminder that the Dominant does indeed care about the submissive’s emotional state.

Finally, the Dominant will want to make sure that the submissive stays properly hydrated to keep their electrolyte levels up, though it is not advised to give them anything that is heavily caffeinated as this can defeat the purpose of hydrating the submissive. A nice cup of herbal tea, some ice water or some juice is a good idea. The submissive may need reminders to help them to remember to drink. Also, along that note, the Dominant may want to have something light ready for the submissive to eat. Though they may not be hungry, it is helpful to give them something small as a treat, like some chocolate or a couple cookies. I mention chocolate because it contains a natural chemical that is similar to the vast amount of endorphins that will be leaving the submissive’s body during this process and this is just one more tool in the Dominant’s toolbox to help ease the transition back to a natural state of being for the submissive.

If aftercare is handled properly by the Dominant, the experience of Subspace can be an extremely positive one for both partners involved. It can help bring the Dominant and submissive into another level of their relationship and add to the plentiful array of things that a Dominant and submissive can do together that can enrich their relationship. We do hope that you have found this article helpful and informative and should you have any questions, please feel free to ask within our comments section and we will get back to you. Thank you and may you have a kink-ilicious day!

Long Live the Queen!

20 years ago, Madonna was considered the over-the-top femme fatale of the music industry. Today, she shows us that some things are timeless...

Updates, Discoveries and Evolution

Hello all! I have been asked a great deal recently why I had stopped posting on this blog and where I had gone. As we all know, sometimes life takes a turn that we cannot foresee and we must become aware of a new reality and adjust to it. For many years, I had daily, easy and free access to the internet as well as a computer of my own that I did not feel concerned about having certain adult-themed content on. Some time ago, this changed. Though I do have access to a computer temporarily (at least for the next couple months), I do not own this computer and therefore I need to be respectful in what sort of content I access and/or create on it.

I can assure any ongoing readers that check on this blog occasionally over the years that I will never, EVER just give up on it. There may be large gaps of time in between posts, but I will always return, sooner or later. This blog has seen me through a great deal of change and growth and as such I have come to see it as an old friend.What kinds of things have changed, you may ask? Well, one of the biggest changes you may notice is my evolution from submissive/slave to switch and finally to full dominant. I am not ashamed of my submissive beginnings, nor do I regret them. Learning what it is to submit to another, the strength it takes to bend one's will to that of someone else, the beauty of true submission...all of this was a powerful and amazing experience for me. I found though, that this was an experience I found myself wishing to share. I wanted to be able to bring that kind of joy and spark into another's eyes. Are my previous Master and I still together? No. Not as a couple anyway. We have discovered that we make far better friends then lovers and as a result he remains one of my very best friends to this day.

I have since taken a pet of my own. My Matthew has allowed me to help him open himself to new worlds of sensation and emotion. He is a devoted, handsome and wonderful man that I am so very proud of! I find such fulfillment in teaching him, exploring with him, showing him what he is capable of and then seeing the light fill his eyes as he discovers that he is so much more then he previously thought. He is my joy, my pride and my darling little pussycat. I find that the happiness he brings into my life is the sort that settles my soul. The interesting thing is, he is also a force to be reckoned with in his own right! I have discovered that I am not the sort to want someone to blindly follow me. I want someone that will more likely be the wolf by my side then the puppy at my feet. I want someone that shows strength to everyone and then chooses to use that strength to please me. So when I call him my pussycat, make no mistake, he is also my dragon. I am proud to call him mine for he is a strong and powerful man that has earned the privilege of being such by way of his words, deeds and actions. Because of all of this, I love him beyond measure.

The Black Cat

With next month being Halloween, I thought it appropriate to speak about the connection between black cats and magickal traditions. To start with, there have been many sick and twisted individuals over the years that have tortured and maimed black cats simply because they believe them to be familiars of witches or incarnations of the Devil. Sadly, this is a practice that can and does still occur on occassion. However, black cats are like any other cat in the sense that they hold the same finicky tastes, have the same humorous interest in chasing string and ribbons and take the same path from point A to point B (across your face as you sleep) that other cats take.


The difference in black cats versus other creatures, when it comes to the magickal tradition, is not in the animal's traits but more in the symbolism behind the animal. The symbolism of the cat, being an animal that is known to have closer ties to other planes, can be a strong way to visualize one's will and intent. If one believes that the animal they are working with is more capable of helping them to reach their goal, then the person trying to attain the goal will indeed have a better chance of achieving said goal. Mentally it can be viewed as something of a placebo effect. However, most do not wish to view it that way because they do not like to think that magick comes purely from mind and Will rather then tools, props and ritual. Also, the symbolism of a black animal holds meaning as well. Black can symbolize things like death, transition, rebirth, a changing of guards, the fall of one system and subsequent rise of another, and so on and so forth. There are a multitude of things that can hold meaning to the practitioner as they work with the animal and there is no limit to what can be accomplished when the practioner comes to the understanding that the animal is simply a focal point of visualization rather then the actual power coming from the animal in question.

So let's talk a little about history. Why do people still have such a strong reaction to black cats in general and where does the belief that they are either good or bad luck come from? In El Libro de San Cipriano, first published in 1510 and later smuggled from Spain to Mexico among other grimiores in the early 1540's, we see reference to El Gato Negro (The Black Cat). This grimiore was known to make reference to both black magick and white magick and even had a special section that was specifically for rituals and spells involving the black cat. Previous to that black cats were made reference to but not in the context we are discussing here. In ancient Kemet (modern day Egypt), there are many references to cats, however the color was not a major factor. At the time they were becoming known for their symbolism and connections to other planes of existence. Later, as the dark ages approached and mysticism took a back seat to the crusades in Europe, societies views toward cats changed from one of reverence to one of revulsion. Because cats had become so overpopulated, entire colonies of them were beginning to starve. This coupled with the prevelance of biting insects and the spread of disease due to unclean practices when dealing with animals that are likely to come into contact with rats, gave cats a very bad reputation in Europe for being the bringers of bad luck, misfortune and even death. With the spread of the Black Plague, cats saw the depths to which they could be hated by a society that does not understand their nature. Without the scientific understanding of germs and the spread of such, cats became the scapegoat by which European society explained the multitude of deaths that occured. It became acceptable practice to kill cats as well as those that "kept" them, for fear that they were the bringers of the devil's work. How far we have come from this foolish and misled view of such an inspiring creature!

The grimiore of El Libro de San Cipriano, which later became one of the fundamental grimiores from which Mexican Burjeria was derived, gives many examples of ways in which the black cat can assist one's magickal practices. However, it is unfortunate to say that because of the views of cats in general at the time that this grimiore was written, there are some scewed views of what sorts of things one would do with the animal in order to utilize it's focal powers. Over time we have come to see that the will and intent behind the magick performed are more important then the literal translation of the actions suggested. For instance, there is a spell that refers to using a black cat to bring harm to an enemy by setting the cat loose at a crossroads. This is not the entirety of the spell but for the purposes of this article will suffice. This can be viewed as neglectful if the cat you are setting loose is a family pet, but in the view of the day, it was much more humane then the actions most others would have performed on the animal. On another note, the black cat was also used to bring good fortune to the practitioner in another spell which simply involves keeping a black cat as a pet and spreading ground sea salt on it's back once a week. In my opinion, that would make for a better day anyway because of the subsequent purrs and snuggles involved by giving kitty a nice rub and scratch. There are many beliefs and traditions that follow, in one form or another, the use of black cats to invoke a variety of outcomes. However, it is always important to research things thoroughly before ever performing any ritual. Understand that it is your own will that drives the action of any ritual performed, not the animal, nor the tools involved. With this in mind, you may find that you are better prepared to begin to create your own rituals and practices. They may include El Gato Negro, or they may not. The choice is yours.

A study In Erotica: Femdom Kink! Rawr!

The Reunion

I emerged from the red, brick building wearing little more than absolutely necessary. The 3/4 length coat kept the cool air at bay as I walked down the front steps and turned toward the well-worn path that led around the building to another less visible flight of stairs behind a large flowering shrub. I let my fingernails trail along the wall as I follow the steps down to a black door. The heavy wood of the door gives in slowly as I carefully push through our own carefully prepared wards and enter the darkness. I step down yet another staircase, leading down past the foundation and basement, past the long standing tunnels with their torch lit walls, down into a hallway at the very end. A strange mix of modern structure and natural surroundings, I enter a large cavernous fire lit room with walls covered in burgundy silk. Large steel hooks interjected the line of the silk draperies by occasionally scooping them aside to reveal sordid delights within the small alcoves beyond. Whether it be a niche filled with an assortment of whips, crops and canes, or another with a chair that contained a variety of hooks and tie downs that promised a night of perverse pleasures, there was something exciting to behold beyond each gap in the fabric.

I continued to walk, past each new and exciting scenario that presented itself to me. Above me, the cave ceiling lay naked and bare, the flickering shadows of the torches playing against the stone. I came to a stop in front of one steel hook that had lost its grip on the silk and allowed the drape to slip closed. Smiling in anticipation, I tugged the cloth aside and strode in with the clip-clop of my boots echoing sharply in the silence. The shadows seem even thicker in this particular alcove. I became eager as I watched the light play of fire, shadows, steel, and there just beyond the metal bars, gleaming skin with a sheen of sweat rippling over the muscled frame of the man in the cell. My smile deepens, reaching my eyes as recognition settles in. The young one who had passed me the message of the new donors arrival had no way of knowing whom it was that had landed in my personal dungeon. She was new. Not many had been around long enough to remember this one. He was no donor. Nor was he prey. He was however a challenge, and a welcome one at that. He was my kind of predator.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." I let the words purr from my lips like so much warmed honey. His head lifts at the sound of my voice, for he knows it well. The corners of his mouth twitched with humor and something akin to relief.

"When did you get back into town?" I ask as I let the metal key in my fingers play back and forth across my nails with a click, click, clicking sound.

"It is better for you if you do not know that, darling" He replies. He is probably right about that. The last time we parted ways, he was climbing out a window and I was rushing toward a door to stall the quickly approaching detective long enough to give him a head start. Now he was on the other side of my own cell bars, looking thoroughly scrumptious in the matching black boxers and blindfold. It was practically tradition by now for concentual donors to be presented to me in this fashion when they came seeking our kind.

I breathed in the scent that is only him. It was a mixture of natural scents like water, earth and lush vegetation, with an underlying musk that has the power to intoxicate the senses. I allow the belt that held my coat closed to slide open and I shrugged the material off my shoulders. The remaining vinyl and leather of my boots, corset and panties glimmered nicely in the lighting.

"If I let you out, are you going to be a good boy and behave?" My lips curled into a suggestive grin and one eyebrow raises slightly as I wait for an answer.

"You always sound so damned cute when you get that sound in your voice." I could see his shoulders shaking ever so slightly with mirth, the dimple in his cheek showing up as it always did when he turned up the charm. The key turned around one last time in my fingers before penetrating the lock, my hand turning of it's own accord as the blindfold falls to the floor.

With supernatural speed, the door was thrown open and my back hit the wall, cracking beneath my shoulders. Our mouths were locked in a struggle to drink each other in deeply, hands buried in one anothers hair, pulling each other closer still, bare chest crushed against leather clad breasts. I barce my feet against the wall behind me and push off with my Will, my legs carrying out the motions so that it appeared as if we've defied gravity through a feat of strength. We sail across the room, this time landing him against the wall, crushing the shape of his back into the stone beyond the silk that fell in an explosion of rich red color. As the cloth cascaded down his shoulders in a smooth swishing rush, I leaned backward as far as I could with my legs locked around his waist. Gravity pulled him with me and flipped us both over and onto the newly silk covered ground.

His eyes widen at the sudden realization that he is laying on a bed of dark red with me straddling him...excited, horny and unusually hungry. My eyes have already begun glowing emerald green, a wicked grin spreading across my features as my canines elongated to feeding length.

A similar look crossed his face, teeth and all, shortly before he lowers his voice to a whisper of a growl and says, “Come for me my darling, for old time’s sake. Squirm for me one more time.”

Of its own accord, my body reacts as if a day has it passed since the time that I willingly submitted to him in both body and will. My eyelids flutter as my head rolls back in ecstasy, back arched. Muscles gripping and tightening deep in my belly, I rake my nails across the floor, cutting through the piles of fabric and hitting stone just as a long low moan of pleasure rises up and looses itself from my chest. Feeling as if liquid fire is pumping through my veins, a curl of golden mist starts to sweep across the room, a testament to how our powers have grown since last we parted. The very life force that we once sought out together in the shadows, poured through the room now, growing brighter with every arch of my back. Wracked with sheer pleasure, I lose all sense of my surroundings and there is only him. I push the heat and power of my orgasm into him as I give a final shudder of release.

I lean forward, lightly flicking my tongue against his lips, tasting him, marking him. I let my lips softly brush across his cheek and nuzzle my face into his neck as I whisper huskily into his ear.

“I’ve missed you, Love.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Have you?

Have you ever woken up and decided that there is more waiting for you then the world that we have been presented with?

Have you ever fallen into a pit of despair and had a hand pull you out at the last moment?

Have you ever held a mirror up and found a monster in the reflection?

Have you ever thought your mind would eat you up and swallow you whole if you allowed it to?

Have you ever felt a hunger inside so deep that no food or water could touch it?

Have you ever spoken to the people in your head only to find out later that they are real and can hear you too?

Have you ever wondered why you were born into an age you do not understand?

Have you ever felt homesick for a place you've never been?

Have you ever wondered how much of your own mind is you and how much is everyone else?


I have. Have you?

The Stillness Within

The heart that holds on tight

Like a coil of chains around it

Waiting for the moment to pass

And allow me to breathe again



I was content in my misery

But a breeze came blowing in

Bringing hope on the wind

Ruining my plans of depression



I was happy being lonely

Thinking I would be forever alone

While always in a crowd

Desperate to find home



Home that lets you be yourself

Or takes another look

Beyond the lies you tell to everyone

And sees your truth laid bare



Is it better to tell and risk it all

Then to stay in a prison of my making

Only time can tell in the end

If I shall rise above it all or shatter as I fall



I hold my breath again

Just waiting to see what happens

To the life that should have been

While holding onto the stillness within

Ancient Kemetic History Holds Spiritual Ties To Vampirism

The word Kemetic or Kemet is one that anyone that spends a length of time within the Vampire Community will come across. What does it mean though? Well in the land of Ancient Egypt, the Egyptians themselves did not use the term Egypt in reference to their own land. To them, the land they called home was known as Kemet. Sometimes they also called it Ta-mery, or "beloved land." Kemet translates as "Black Land", in reference to the fertile banks and fields surrounding the Nile (black from the soil). In contrast, "deshret" is the term for the "Red Land" or the desert (a modern term derived from "deshret") that surrounds the fertile "kemet". By using the term Kemet instead of Egypt, we refer to the country by the name its own people called it (Egypt is an English form of the Greek name for this land, Aegyptos).

The land of Kemet was one rich in the history of modern vampires everywhere. In fact the Kemetic Order of Aset Ka, also known as the Asetians are a current day group of vampires that give worship to the Kemetic Goddess Aset, often spoken of as being the mother of vampires. However, there is mention of vampires in even earlier cultures such as that of the Sumerians. The Asetians do however have much knowledge of the early days of our origins and so, to any that may be interested in learning more of their specific philosophies, they need look no further then The Asetian Bible. It is not meant as a bible of religious philosophy so much as it is called a bible in the sense that they view it as an indispensable manual that contains a large portion of their collective knowledge, with the exception of certain "trade secrets" for lack of better words. .

Aset Ka was not the only Kemetic Netjer/Netjert (or God/Goddess) that has a place in vampiric history however. There were many that have held a place in our history either as the source of symbols we currently use, customs we take on as our own, or as one of the many Netjer/Netjert that we feel personally drawn to. Below I will list a few of them, though the list is by no means limited to solely those listed.


Atum Ra/Re - Often referred to as the creator of all, this is the Sun God as known in either it's second (Atum) or third (Ra/Re) phase of eclipse (much as the Scarab Khepri was a representation of the dark new moon). In one of his many forms, Ra has the head of a falcon and the sun-disk of Wadjet (one of the patron goddesses of lower Kemet, also called the green one) resting on his head.

Horus - One of the oldest and most significant Kemetic deities. He also bares the head of a falcon. Horus is known as the son of Isis and Osiris and yet in another tradition of Kemetic philosophy, he is regarded as the son of Hathor or even at times as her husband. After Set killed Osiris, Horus had many battles with Set, not only to avenge his father, but to choose the rightful ruler of Egypt. One scene stated how Horus was on the verge of killing Set; but his mother (and Set's sister), Isis, stopped him. Isis injured Horus, but eventually healed him. Horus was also said to be a war god and a hunter's god. Horus has at times been also referred to as another incarnation of Ra himself.

Hathor - Often regarded as the wife of Thoth, in later references she has been also depicted as the wife of Ra-Horakhty (Ra/Horus) or in earlier references as the mother of Horus. She was the Nejert that represented the personification of feminine love, joy, music, dance, foriegn lands, and motherhood. She was believed to be the one that welcomed all into this life and the next by helping mothers through childbirth and by greeting the dead when they pass into the afterlife. She is also often depicted in animal form as a cow goddess and has had, since the days of ancient Kemet, a cult following that uses this cow as one of it's many symbols of worship. As is often the case with pantheons throughout history, there are sometimes similarities that overlap. Hathor is one of the female deities that is also associated with the greek goddess Aphrodite.

There is a story about Hathor that has particular interest to someone bearing an eye on vampiric history. Kemet had once been seperated into Upper Kemet and Lower Kemet. The unification of the two regions was the result of a twenty eight year war of brutal proportions. The casualties on both sides were high. At the end of the war, peace returned to the land of Kemet and calm resumed, laying the way for a prosperous age in which the pharaoh Mentuhotep III reigned. The tale that follows this war is the one of which I speak.

It is said that Ra (represented by the pharaoh of Upper Kemet) no longer had the respect of his people (those of Lower Kemet) and they had begun disobeying him and otherwise shirking his authority. According to the myth, Ra communicated through Hathor's third eye (or Maat) and told her of his impending assassination that was being planned by the people in the land. It angered Hathor that the people she herself had created and brought into this world would do such a thing as to plan this heinous event. She was so angered in fact that she became Sekhmet, the war goddess of Upper Kemet. Hathor (as Sekhmet) then went on what has been called a bloodthirsty slaughter that could not be stopped. Upon seeing the effect his news had on his precious Hathor, Ra became regretful of the ensuing chaos and chose to stop Sehkmet from continuing her slaughter. To do this, he decided it best to trick Sekhmet. Ra flooded the fields with beer brewed by the women of Heliopolis and dyed red on Ra's orders, from the red ochre of Elephantine (an island in the Nile), in order to stop Sekhmet's rampaging slaughter of people (as Hathor mistook it for the blood of her victims, which she craved).

Thinking that he was pouring out blood for her in reward for her service, she drank it with frenzied delight, so much of it that she became drunk and fell into a slumber. After waking from this slumber, she had once more returned to her normal, gentle, loving, joyful self as his beautiful Hathor.

Aura Colors & Their Meanings

There are many different ideas as to exactly what each specific shade means when it comes to the color of a persons aura. But I think this has something to do with the fact that even with those that can see auras, each individual person sees the shades slightly differently. What may appear violet to one person may appear to be a deeper purple to someone else or to a third person may seem closer to blue. So it can be somewhat difficult to find a completely accurate description of aura colors and their meanings. However, the main categories of color do have certain traits and meanings attached to them. As someone that is both an empath as well as an aura reader, it was a tad easier for me to check and see for myself that the meanings described, do indeed mean what they are said to mean. That being said, I'll include some of the more basic colors and their general meanings in the paragraphs below. Be aware though that every individual is different and because of that fact, there may be some variations for yourself or others. When reading someone's aura, it is important to trust your instincts.


Disclaimer:

Here are the colors and meanings as I have come to understand them. Again, this is only what the color means to me when I see it, not necessarily what it means to everyone because someone else may see the subject as an entirely different color so this is all to be taken with a measure of understanding in regards to that fact.


Red:

Passionate, Driven, Assertive, Motivated, Dominant, Creative, Problem Solver, Competitive, A Survivor. This person has a powerful personality and is extremely sensual and seductive. In short they are "sex on a stick" and it shows in everything they do or say, making them very attractive and charismatic people. They are often the life of the party and their magnetic personalities will attract a great many romantic admirers and allies. However, they can also be formidable opponents once a person finds themselves on their bad side because their passionate nature can easily spur their anger into rage. There is also a possibility of materialism and once they set their sights on a specific goal their single minded pursuit of it can be so focused that it can evolve into full blown obsession if left unchecked. People of this variety make excellent business executives, rock stars, actors, media moguls, politicians, high powered attorneys and other influential go-getters.


Gray or Smoky:

Depression, Sluggishness, Fatigue, Drained, Lethargic, Apathetic, Listless, Muscle Weakness, Poor Immune System. I have noticed this to be a more temporary type of color. I have only met one person that had an aura of this color on what seemed to be a permanent basis and that person had suffered from depression and left it untreated for many years. This is also a color that will often settle over a vampire that suffers from deep need and has gone too long between feedings. It is not uncommon to become tired and feel sleepy or even sad when in the presence of someone that has an aura of this color, especially if you are highly empathic.


Yellow:

Spirituality, Enlightenment, Knowledge, Inspiration, Ascension, Humility. There is also the possibility of physical ailments and a weak connection to the physical realities of this world. This is the color of aura said to have surrounded some very well known spiritual figures and religious leaders such as Gandhi, Mother Theresa and The Dali Lama. It is my belief that the bright and shining halo that is so often found surrounding images of the Christian Messiah, Jesus Christ, in paintings of him during the time period that preceded his crucifixion, was actually the artist’s way of depicting the yellow color of his aura which he gave off so strongly that it was even visible to those not normally sensitive to seeing aura colors. I may be a pagan but religious beliefs aside, there is no denying the fact that there was a man answering his description that was a spiritual leader to many during that time and his faith and the faith of his followers would have imbued him with a rather strong aura indicating that he was, as such, a spiritually minded man.


Green:

A Healer, Compassionate, Caring, Kindness, Generous Nature, Animal Lover. Many doctors, nurses, therapists, counselors, veterinarians and philanthropists can be found to have an aura of this color. This person loves to help and comfort those that need it. There is a certain rare gentility of spirit that tends to accompany these people and though their urge to help can take them into high pressure environments, they are good at keeping a cool head in the heat of the moment. This is a forgiving and intelligent type of person but there is also a natural innocence within them in regards to the forces of malevolence, which can cause them to be rather gullible in their younger years. If left unhealed after being taken advantage of or falling victim to falsehoods, this can lead to disillusionment and the eventuality of a somewhat cynical or bitter outlook later in life.


Orange:

Vibrant, Enthusiastic, Genuine, Energetic, Spontaneous, Confident, Happiness, Carefree. These people are a real joy to be around. Their infectious humor and optimistic outlook on life is refreshing and endearing. They are very friendly and are often actively flirtatious. They love to make people laugh and their smile can light up a room. Although there is no such thing as a person that is happy all of the time, this person enjoys the ups and doesn’t take the downs too seriously. There is, however, a tendency toward forgetfulness, flightiness and the possibility of a short attention span which can lead to boredom and mischief. This person is a prankster but it is always in good fun as they are also known for being a fiercely loyal friend.



Purple:

Honorable, Trustworthy, Noble, Courageous, Loyal, A Champion of Justice, Fair, A Natural Born Leader. There is a reason that royalty is often associated with this color. Those that have an aura of this color often have the charisma, passion and ambition of a red colored aura as well as the diplomacy, intelligence and wisdom of a blue colored aura. It is therefore not difficult to see why there may also be the possibility of arrogance and manipulation, albeit always with the good of the group in mind. This person carries a heavy weight on their shoulders and it is a mark of strength and fortitude to have an aura of this particular hue. It is very difficult to make such hard decisions as this person must make, because although they always act with their people in mind, it can be a lonely existence at the top and as we all know it is impossible please everyone all of the time.



Blue:

Empathic, Intuitive, Creative, Intelligent, Loving, Sensitive, Understanding, Patient, Wise, Diplomatic, Realistic, Grounded, Calm, Peaceful. This person has many attributes of a true empath and they can often be found in jobs that involve social sciences such as teachers, social workers, childcare specialists, caregivers for the elderly and non-profit organization volunteers. Their patient and understanding nature makes for good parenting skills and this becomes evident in their strong family ties. These are people that maintain close relationships with the extended families and they are fiercely protective of those that are a part of their core group. Equally good at giving advice as well as listening these people make wonderful confidantes and their compassion can be very comforting in a time that would otherwise be difficult. Where those with a green aura tend to heal the body and mind, these people settle the soul and heart. One thing to look out for with this color of aura though is a tendency to procrastinate and put off distasteful tasks until the last minute. They can also be slow to admit failure and stubborn about apologizing if they believe they are in the right.



Darkened, Shadowy or Black:

Chaotic, Predatory, Dishonest, Manipulative, Dangerous, Malevolent, Harmful, Fierce, Mentally Unstable, Criminal Inclinations, Chronic or Terminal Illness, The Presence of Death. Beware! I have run across a few people that seem to have a shadowy, dark or even black aura that either surrounds them like a mist or that they might even carry within themselves. This blackness is quick to spread to those that spend time with or speak to someone that has this color of aura. I have come to understand that these are people around which one should be on their guard and very cautious. Once this blackness spreads it tends to stick to one like a film residue and it can be difficult to rid oneself of the feeling that one has been dirtied and is unable to get clean again. This type of aura tends to accompany people that are extremely selfish, have ulterior motives and agendas, are untrustworthy or may even have malicious intent. This may not always be directed at you but use extreme caution in all dealings with this person. Another completely different meaning for having this color in the aura can also be in connection with the lingering presence of death or illness that surrounds a person. I have seen people that were terminally ill that had small patches of their aura become darkened and concealed as if in shadows, oftentimes over the area of their body that the illness has made the most impact. As they grew closer and closer to death, the darkness over them also grew until the day it overtook them and they passed on.

A Special Study In Erotica: The Women of Ink!!

What is it about tattoos that get the gears in our minds and libidos turning? There is no denying that using the human body as a canvas has a powerful effect on both the viewer of the artwork as well as the wearer of it. Since the dawn of time, we have used the combination of dyes and cuts to create permanent marks upon our bodies so why then is this most ancient of adornments still looked at as a mark of rebellion in some western cultures? What started as a trend toward the taboo here in North America has now turned into an explosion of self expression and creativity. And along with that explosion came the sexual revolution and the women of ink. Now more then ever, women are choosing to wear their hearts upon their fully colored arm sleeves.There are various reasons that these women will choose to do so and in this posting of A Study In Erotica, I thought that I would bring to you a sampling of some of this beautiful artwork being worn by women that are gorgeous in their own right. Just as their tattoos vary in meaning and purpose, so does the beauty and the personalities of these lovely ladies. Whether they chose their tattoos for the purpose of identifying themselves with a particular group, like the beautiful and deadly member of the Yakuza directly below, or if they simply chose the art they wear as a means of flirtatious playfulness, like the butterflies or fairies you will see on some of the other women further down the post, they each have a very personal and individual reason for why they chose to wear the artwork they did. So take a moment with me and enjoy what they decided to add to this world in the way of creativity. It is my hope that you will see why I chose this subject to be an extra special edition of A Study In Erotica. Please enjoy the artwork as well as the canvas it has been placed upon for they are each, in their own way, devastatingly stunning.